If I Could Be A Super Hero

If I could be a super hero, I’d be Rhetorical Girl. (I’d really be a woman – it just doesn’t roll off the tongue as nicely.) My power would be to always have the perfect words to slay the arguments of ridiculous dolts who cross my path. Single-handedly, I would help ensure the healthy future of intelligent discourse on this dark, gloomy planet being attacked from all sides by competing forces of illogic, dogma, meanness and circuitousness. I would always be understood the first time. I would never raise my voice but I would always be heard. I would have a highly developed sense to alert me to when saying nothing will be more powerful than giving a tongue-lashing. My boots would be comfortable and make me feel sexy.